Since this is a month in which love is celebrated…which, ahem, should be celebrated ALL the time, last week I decided to write this post and discuss vulnerability, remaining hopeful and optimistic when you are a Singleton like myself, and finish off with a heart-opening yoga sequence for you all.
Then, I got my heart broken a bit…and by a bit I mean I was up until 1am Wednesday night/Thursday morning crying unhappy tears. All because a guy who I’ve held a torch for and had a “thing” with off-and-on during the entirety of 2016 told me Wednesday night that he was seeing someone else. Your basic bummer moment. This is currently an experience that I feel completely torn about because A) I am happy for him. He’s my friend, he’s a good person, he deserves happiness and B) I am thinking about myself, of course. The “why not me’s” and “what if’s” surface. I’ll give it to you straight–those don’t matter one bit. You can “what if” until you make yourself sick, and it isn’t going to change the outcome.
Why am I rambling slightly and why does this even matter? It matters, simply because I matter. If this has happened to you, you matter. This is a moment in which learning and growth can occur, if you let it. Also, because this actually perfecting ties in with what I was planning to say anyways and now have some added emotions to go along with it. 🙂
I tend to be closed-off. Guarded. When I get hurt, my initial response is to close-up and shut down and keep everything in. Again, if this sounds familiar, here’s what I want to say to you: let’s break the cycle. I’m making a decision to stay open through the hard moments and this is NOT EFFING EASY. We can do it.
Here’s a list of what I’m currently working on to stay open:
- Talking about what’s on your mind. Seriously. Talk to the people you love and trust.
- Stop saying “It’s okay” or “It’s fine” if it’s not. It is OKAY to NOT be okay. This does not mean you will never be okay again, but you are allowed your feelings.
- Do the things that make you, you. I’m about to throw myself into a lot of projects I’ve been putting off in order to refresh and reconnect.
- Leave your comfort zone. Do it.
- Look for the positives. Sometimes this takes work. Sometimes, it’s totally okay if your only positive of the day is “Well, I didn’t get hit by a bus, so there’s that.”
- Cultivate compassion and gratitude.
One more thing before I wrap up–vulnerability. This is a topic I want to dive into way more at another time, but for now–I know being vulnerable with other people is so hard, for so many of us. However, being vulnerable is not the same as being weak. Showing vulnerability is raw and real and 100% a strength. Think on that and I’ll follow up in a few weeks.
I am going to keep going. I am not going to shy away from love or keep myself so closed off that I can’t let it in when it comes. Until then, Singleton life it is!
Namaste Darlings, and have an amazing week!
P.S.! I Will be following up with that yoga sequence! Stay tuned! Xoxo.