Grad School Journal: #4

Hey Darlings!

Journal time! These are actually from class two Wednesday’s ago…but we all know I’m all about the late posts! I’ll put up this past week’s before next Wednesday, and this week’s happens to be the last journal assignment for this particular class! I haven’t decided yet if I will still with the grad school journals or not. I’ll decide next week. What I will say is that so far I have been enjoying the actual class time we get each week…although I can’t say I enjoy much else at this point. I’m still hoping for the best!

ANYWAYS. For this particular journal week I actually responded to two of the prompts. I still have no idea if I’m writing these the way I should be or if I’m “reflecting” correctly…is there a way to reflect correctly? Honestly, I’m pretty tired of the constant self-reflection…like, we have only been in school for five weeks. That’s a decent amount of time, I grant you, but so far I haven’t had any huge AH HA moments and interesting breakthroughs that have changed the way I think and feel about teaching or theories. Yet, we are constantly being asked what has changed for us or how has our thinking progressed and to be honest…I feel like my thinking has regressed, meaning I am so exhausted and on overload that rational thinking has pretty much gone caput. Journal time?

Describe and elaborate upon any predominant feelings or thoughts you had during the educational equity activities. 

I definitely had strong feelings during our educational equity activities–mainly because of the topics themselves. I felt a mixture of frustration and idealism, a smidgen of hope and a fair amount of irritation. My group had the topic of harassment in the school system, which sometimes feels like a hopeless situation to try to resolve. This is mainly because of the general inconsistency of how issues are looked at or ignored, resolved or left for someone else to deal with. Personal experience with this topic has left me a bit incensed…but also determined. I want to carry that determination with me when I become an educator and be able to listen to all sides of a situation as it is brought to me or as I observe it, whether it concerns students or other staff members. What I want to work on currently is letting go of some of that irritation and indignation that I feel so that if and when an issue does arise, my emotions do not cloud my judgement. This is something easier said than done, but I will keep trying as well as continue thinking of how we can find real solutions to the huge problem that is harassment.

Reflect on tonight’s warm-up experience (silence)…

I absolutely loved the “quiet time” at the beginning of class. I have an on-again, off-again meditation practice that has been stuck in the “off” mode for a few months now. I need to figure out how I can tweak my ridiculous (and overwhelming) schedule to bring meditation back into my routine. Throughout my life, I have found that I have to force myself to take brain breaks, otherwise I won’t do it and the stress takes over. Obviously, this is not the healthiest option, and I tend to blame my uber-busy schedule for not taking more time to relax and go inward…when truthfully now is when I need meditation the most. I’ve struggled with my practice in the past, and anyone who has tried it can probably attest to the fact that it is not easy to still the mind and body. Shocking, right? 🙂 Yet, this time, before class, my body was so ready for it. It wanted to be still, and I am grateful the time was offered to us. I would like the use this in my own classroom and I think it would be a great way to start a class. Since I hope to teach high school, multiple periods of students would have the opportunity to take a break to breathe…how many of them actually do that? I want to stay positive and believe that this is something that they would actually want to participate in!


Until next time! Cheers!


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